Strange Weirdo

Back when I was 12 I would walk to my friend's house which was just on the next block.
One day I'm walking back to my house and it's mid-afternoon. I notice this car following me. I head up to my porch and into the house locking the screen door and then the main door. I head to my bedroom to drop off my bag then to the family room where my mom is, she asks me "what's up?" I tell her, "nothing except I saw this beat up car following me."

She asks if I was ok I tell her yes. For context at 12, I already towered over my mother at 5'7 who is barely 5'0. I sit down to watch some TV and we hear a knock on the front door which was odd because everyone knows to come to the back door, my mom goes and opens the door just enough to see who it is and it's an older man in his 40's or 50's, tall about 6'1, thin, grey hair and a long beard. He asks for me by name and my mom tells him "to go away" and closes the door.

I asked her who it was and she tells me, "some weird ass old dude asking for me."

I roll my eyes and go back to watching TV. Then 5 minutes later we hear pounding on the front door, this time I go but not before making a detour to my parent's bedroom as my dad has a shotgun in there and taught me how to use it. I grab it, load it and make sure the safety is on. I think head to my room and grab one of my machetes (I know disturbing items for a 12 yr old to have but I have always been fascinated with weapons. I go to the door and look out the peephole, it's that same weirdo guy. He's banging on the door and it's shaking, so I open it hiding the shotgun and machete behind my leg, his smile wides in this creepy way that just tells me that he's a fucking creeper.

He says to me, "hello can you come outside?"

I cock my head to one said mimicking that dog behavior and just stare at him not saying a word. He says, "aren't you going to answer me?"

I cock my head the other way in a mock gesture as if I'm listening. Now he's getting angry and he says, "get your ass outside, now!"

I not being easily afraid people just give this menacing stare and grin saying, "oh, do you want to play?"

He stares at me dumbfounded and recovers saying, "no I want you to get in my car, then we'll play."

I just keep this deadpan stare and then take a step his smile widens as he thinks he's won. As I do this I led the machete slide across the floor making noise as he looks down his smile dies and he looks back up at me who is now directly at the screen just staring at him. He jumps back surprised that I never made a sound and the fact he was so transfixed on what was in my hand he never actually saw me move.

I unlock the screen door and tell him to open it, his smile returns and then he opens the door. He starts to look me up and down and his smile instantly replaced by fear as he has an up-close view of what's in my hands.

Machette in left and shotgun in the other, he looks me in the eyes and I lean forward and say in a hushed whisper "If you wanna play with me you have to come inside but be quiet. If my mother catches me with another corpse this time she will call the police."

You can actually see the panic in his eyes and he takes a step back and starts fumbling his words and I say, "don't you wanna play with me? Don't worry it's ok I just wanna see that pretty skull without all the skin and tissue."

His eyes widen and I say in this creepy sing-song tone "I've got others, wannnnaaa seeeeeeeee?"

I turn dragging both the machete and the gun taking slow steps and I hear the screen door slam and hear retreating footsteps. Two minutes later I hear an engine starting and tires squealing away. I  reach back lock the screen door then the main door. My mom comes in and says? "what the hell?" and before she can finish she looks in my hands, she says, "what did you do?"

I reply, "101 on how to make a creeper shit his pants and run."

She says, "you didn't?"

I smiled and laughed saying, "of course I did."

She says, "you know you can be one creepy girl. I smile and tell her thank you.

Later when my dad gets home she told him what I did to which his only comment was, "did you remove the shotgun shell?"

I told him, "of course" and head off to my room.

The lesson here is, if you want creeps to leave you be, be an even bigger, more terrifying creeper. Even if it's only pretending.